It is true, I don’t know you. But, if what I read in the news about you is true -that you are a battered woman- I can relate. I spent nearly twenty years (during the prime of my life) with men who were violent. That said, I can understand the fear and insecurity you feel if your situation is in any way similar to mine.
As is the case with many battered women, I had a child with my last abuser. As is the case with many battered women, I thought that if I stayed my son’s father, my son would have the advantage of living in a two parent home. This way of thinking had been indoctrinated in me to believe that a child stood the best chance in life by having two parents. It was when my son was about ten years old that I suddenly saw my relationship with his father through my child’s eyes. I also began seeing similar, disrespectful traits of his fathers being directed towards me. I then began to have visions of my son as a man having his head bashed in by fellow convicts in prison for beating, raping, or otherwise harming his future girlfriend or wife because of his own indoctrination into domestically violent relationships. Imagining my ten year old son in prison, turning out to be like his father, was more than I was willing to accept. So, I finally left.
In a short amount of time, I found myself trying to raise a teenage boy into a man. I can’t say for sure if my efforts paid off, but my son has graduated from high school, and looks forward to going to college. He has four best friends that always have his back. The most important thing of all, however, is that he finally found a steady girlfriend. Amazingly, I had a chance to witness the difference that my leaving my son’s father has made in his life. My son, unlike his father, is kind and respectful to his girlfriend. I see NO traits of his father’s in him as far as being a cheater, a liar, a drug addict, or abuser of others. In fact, when my son comes home from visiting his father, he is quite aware of their differences, and can proudly point them out
Suffice it to say, Stephanie, the choice is yours. Are you willing to allow your children to be raised by a monster so that they can become monsters themselves? Again, I don’t know you or if you truly are a battered woman. I suspect you are. It makes no sense that you would even for one second become involved with a domestic violence shelter unless you were scared and being violated in some way. It also makes absolute zero sense that the battered women’s shelter employees would simply make up some story about a woman named Stephanie Lizon who has bruises, burns and other evidence of torture by her husband. To consider these shelter employees are lying about your brief involvement with their facility is insanity. I ask myself what do these people have to gain in wrongfully persecuting you and your husband? The answer is that they have nothing to gain whatsoever. It is not like they somehow need to find enough battered women to fill their beds. It is probably exactly the opposite……they don’t have enough beds!
I pray that you find the strength to leave- if for no other reason than teaching your children NOT to be abusers/abused themselves when they are adults in their own relationships.