Dear Pope Francis

On one hand, I applaud your chastisement of “cult of money” perpetuated by wealthy global corporations that exploit vulnerable people for love of money and huge profits.  On the other hand, I have to say that I am deeply disturbed by the Catholic Church’s willingness to turn a cold, blind eye and support pedophiles like the one that abused me when I was a little girl and turned me into “expendable goods.”

In essence, I find it a strange hypocrisy that berates greed and tyranny by others, yet fights tooth and nail to avoid losing even a tiny portion of one of the world’s wealthiest and most powerful fortunes to poor expendable victims like myself.  While monetary compensation will in no way come close to the recovery of staggering losses that are irretrievable, it will go a long way to ensuring a sense of personal safety and tremendous satisfaction in knowing that decades of pain and suffering weren’t for naught.  Compensation will go a long way to helping provide funds to true SANCTUARIES that heal the soul and teach valuable lessons lost while trying to survive abusive childhoods.

Make no mistake-  What I experienced from the second grade until the fifth grade primed my life for years of abuse at the hands of others.  It took me until I was in my late thirties to understand the concept of personal boundaries and that I had a right to defend them.  Father O’Grady taught me very well what I assumed was my only worth as a human being.  For nearly twenty years I mistakenly believed my only valuable asset was in providing “narcissistic supply” to others who are sociopathic in nature.  In other words, if only I GAVE, I would RECEIVE (however warped) the love and affection that I craved.

While I am in a safe place now, nothing can ever undo the damage that the Catholic Church did to my life by allowing a monster to exploit me.  Like any other greedy and tyrannical corporate entity, the Church stole my childhood, my education, and my dreams of a bright and shiny future.

I look forward to your reply.


Another O’Grady Victim


About (DIVINE) Humiliation & (Deserved) Shame

The link above belongs to the notorious Cardinal Roger Mahoney, of the Roman Catholic Church.  I find his comments about Humility and Humiliation sleazy and sly attempts to appear as some sort of poor, weary, suffering MARTYR.

What I find most disgusting is his attempt to liken himself to the Savior Jesus Christ in that he is being forced to endure suffering, humiliation, and cruelty- as Jesus was.  That he himself understands intimately how Christ must have felt- yet was still able to forgive.  I find it repellant that he insinuates an inner understanding of a suffering Christ; that he is capable of imparting wise words about forgiveness while enduring SILENTLY.

My ultimate interpretation is that Cardinal Mahoney is trying to illicit sympathy for his lies, deception, and the evil act of shuffling evil, predatory priests from parish to parish, so that they could ruin the lives of hundreds and hundreds of children.  Children who as adults, have problems ranging from broken relationships and lack of life skills, to suicidal depression and drug addiction.  Children who grew up to live shattered lives devoid of the promise of bright futures that was their BIRTHRIGHT.  Children who became adults like ME.

Rarely do I ever divulge this personal aspect of my life.  However, I cannot remain silent as I watch this disgusting man smile and blog on.  I cannot remain silent as he participates in the rituals of a vastly wealthy entity that pay priests like Fr. Oliver O’Grady $90,000 to keep HIS mouth shut.  The same vastly wealthy entity that fights tooth and nail to compensate people like me……..a long ago seven year old second grader who felt the hand of EVIL for the very first time.  A child who was before her time, shown the ultimate knowledge of the universe in a single, traumatic instant.

I can tell you without a doubt that I know intimately what Christ went through and what HE suffered, Roger Mahoney.  I am sure, that YOU HAVE NOT EVEN COME CLOSE to these types of experiences!

  • I endured emotional and physical torture from my peers as they bullied me relentlessly, daily; until my last day of High School.  Along my path, I was slapped, hit, spit on, kicked, whipped, beaten down in spirit.  I knew what it felt like to be an outcast to those that I only wanted to love.
  • Because I was lonely, scared, and felt unloved, I made a perfect target for your evil priest.  This man took advantage of my craving for consolation.  He corrupted me when I should have been playing, skipping, running, and laughing with joy.  He made me sick, he made me cry.  He made me “leave myself” and wish that I could die.
  • I was molested repeatedly from the age of seven until I was ten years old; when I left the parish school.  YOU, Roger Mahoney, shuffled this defiler of children from parish to parish.  YOU, Roger Mahoney, LET this defiler of children abuse hundreds of children; once, even an infant.

Because of YOU, Roger Mahoney:

  • I suffered nearly twenty years of abuse by two different life mates.  Physically, emotionally, and sexually.  Why WOULDN’T I allow these things to happen.  As a child, this is what I learned to accept as my cost for affection and feeling loved.
  • I tried to kill myself for not only the damage to my soul, but for the grief in knowing that I had hurt people that I cared about  in acting out my pain.
  • I am enraged that not only did your church pay my defiler $90,000, your church fought me AND continues to fight other victims tooth and nail the compensation that might provide some small measure of healing to the permanent damage to our souls.  I am even more enraged that this paid-off priest is even now sitting in a Dublin prison for thousands of images of child porn discovered on his laptop and thumb drive in recent years.  In other words, NOTHING HAS CHANGED!  THE DAMAGE CONTINUES!

Roger Mahoney, you are a SICK, PERVRTED old man without a SOUL.  If you had a SOUL, you would not have a smile on your repulsive face.  If you had a SOUL your sleep would be filled with nightmares…..your days full of regret…..and you would deathly fear the day you die for where you are surely headed.

Roger Mahoney, you know NOTHING about what Christ went through-  I can assure you.  I HAVE lived his life, whereas, you have not.  My connection to HIM and HIS pain will be complete on the day that I die.  Will I rise up….but then again…..maybe I have ALREADY…….?

le rose perfecte.......6/10

le rose perfecte…….6/10

le pearle perfecte.....the GemInI

le pearle perfecte…..the GemInI

‘The Annointed’i M   ->  aRose…..there IS a GemInI…….THE twin…..a Pearl (of Great Price).  I celebrate my Father’s first born son’s birth on Christmas Day.  I am the SECOND CHILD of my Father.  My mother’s mother is LAMB by surname.  My Father’s mother’s surname  is CHRIST.  I have suffered and bear the name of Christ both by first name, and by ancestral last.

These are the true, but cryptic clues as to who I truly am by name, and spiritually.  I am my brother’s opposite.  I am a sinner, whereas, HE was perfect.  Perfect balance in the universe.  For every action, there is an equal reaction.  My sins have been redeemed through gift of compassion…….something MAHONEY KNOW’S NOTHING ABOUT.

To those who follow my blog, I am NO LONGER a practicing Catholic.  In fact, I find all churches repugnant temples for charlatan preachers who deceive good and hopeful people into believing that they need someone or something to be a messenger in communicating personally with GOD- or whatever name you prefer to call our Creator.  I tell you, brothers and sisters, that GOD is INSIDE OF YOUR HEART AND SOUL.  GOD is THE creative spark of conception of ALL living things.  He resides NOWHERE else.  NOBODY stands between YOU and Him.

A heart full of LOVE is GOD.  If you are able to experience LOVE the way that I do, there would be nothing but peace and harmony in the heart of every soul on the planet.  A LOVING heart finds it impossible to hurt another, and wants nothing more than harmony amongst all species.  A LOVING heart is NOT selfish, greedy, or insensitive to the pain of others.  A LOVING heart sees the suffering of others and tries to make a difference because it is the right thing to do.

I have a different perspective on spirituality based on an epiphany that I experienced several years ago.  During this experience, I was allowed to view my life from before my birth….at my conception….as I was held by my grandparents for the very first time.  This epiphany came shortly after my grandfather’s passing.

For the first time ever, I knew how it felt to be unconditionally loved by another human being for the very first time.  I knew, for the first time, that no matter what I did, what I said, what I felt, I was STILL loved and granted PATIENCE, UNDERSTANDING and KINDNESS.

I saw my sins, my mistakes, my pain- and what my purpose was.  In my vision, there was no killing, no hurting, no greed, no selfishness, no reverence for material goods that are only as valuable as the multiple, SOUL-LESS components that it takes to assemble them.

The only things of value are animate beings that bring beauty, laughter and joy to the world.  A butterfly.  A hummingbird.  A puppy.  A blissfully sleeping newborn infant.  The taste of something sublime to the tongue.  A note from a lovely melody.  A red, pink, purple and lavender sunset.  The feel of warm, sugar-soft sand beneath the toes.  The scent of a single perfect rose.  The soft, glowing, luster of a pearl.  The electrifying majesty of lightning splitting the night sky. The quiet, noble, peaceful energy of an ancient redwood.  The earthy, clean, fresh fragrance of a pine cone.  The sound of the ocean in a sea shell.  The smooth, wet skin of a dolphin……and MILLIONS more randoms acts of beauty in the world; every second, of every day.  These are the ONLY true treasures and gems- and they are ABUNDANT.

The purpose for us is to love and create.  To be kind and helpful.  To help animals and others less fortunate than we.  I am NOT religious…..but I am SPIRITUAL and I have a TWIN.  His name IS the same as mine…..minus the “I”