About (DIVINE) Humiliation & (Deserved) Shame


The link above belongs to the notorious Cardinal Roger Mahoney, of the Roman Catholic Church.  I find his comments about Humility and Humiliation sleazy and sly attempts to appear as some sort of poor, weary, suffering MARTYR.

What I find most disgusting is his attempt to liken himself to the Savior Jesus Christ in that he is being forced to endure suffering, humiliation, and cruelty- as Jesus was.  That he himself understands intimately how Christ must have felt- yet was still able to forgive.  I find it repellant that he insinuates an inner understanding of a suffering Christ; that he is capable of imparting wise words about forgiveness while enduring SILENTLY.

My ultimate interpretation is that Cardinal Mahoney is trying to illicit sympathy for his lies, deception, and the evil act of shuffling evil, predatory priests from parish to parish, so that they could ruin the lives of hundreds and hundreds of children.  Children who as adults, have problems ranging from broken relationships and lack of life skills, to suicidal depression and drug addiction.  Children who grew up to live shattered lives devoid of the promise of bright futures that was their BIRTHRIGHT.  Children who became adults like ME.

Rarely do I ever divulge this personal aspect of my life.  However, I cannot remain silent as I watch this disgusting man smile and blog on.  I cannot remain silent as he participates in the rituals of a vastly wealthy entity that pay priests like Fr. Oliver O’Grady $90,000 to keep HIS mouth shut.  The same vastly wealthy entity that fights tooth and nail to compensate people like me……..a long ago seven year old second grader who felt the hand of EVIL for the very first time.  A child who was before her time, shown the ultimate knowledge of the universe in a single, traumatic instant.

I can tell you without a doubt that I know intimately what Christ went through and what HE suffered, Roger Mahoney.  I am sure, that YOU HAVE NOT EVEN COME CLOSE to these types of experiences!

  • I endured emotional and physical torture from my peers as they bullied me relentlessly, daily; until my last day of High School.  Along my path, I was slapped, hit, spit on, kicked, whipped, beaten down in spirit.  I knew what it felt like to be an outcast to those that I only wanted to love.
  • Because I was lonely, scared, and felt unloved, I made a perfect target for your evil priest.  This man took advantage of my craving for consolation.  He corrupted me when I should have been playing, skipping, running, and laughing with joy.  He made me sick, he made me cry.  He made me “leave myself” and wish that I could die.
  • I was molested repeatedly from the age of seven until I was ten years old; when I left the parish school.  YOU, Roger Mahoney, shuffled this defiler of children from parish to parish.  YOU, Roger Mahoney, LET this defiler of children abuse hundreds of children; once, even an infant.

Because of YOU, Roger Mahoney:

  • I suffered nearly twenty years of abuse by two different life mates.  Physically, emotionally, and sexually.  Why WOULDN’T I allow these things to happen.  As a child, this is what I learned to accept as my cost for affection and feeling loved.
  • I tried to kill myself for not only the damage to my soul, but for the grief in knowing that I had hurt people that I cared about  in acting out my pain.
  • I am enraged that not only did your church pay my defiler $90,000, your church fought me AND continues to fight other victims tooth and nail the compensation that might provide some small measure of healing to the permanent damage to our souls.  I am even more enraged that this paid-off priest is even now sitting in a Dublin prison for thousands of images of child porn discovered on his laptop and thumb drive in recent years.  In other words, NOTHING HAS CHANGED!  THE DAMAGE CONTINUES!

Roger Mahoney, you are a SICK, PERVRTED old man without a SOUL.  If you had a SOUL, you would not have a smile on your repulsive face.  If you had a SOUL your sleep would be filled with nightmares…..your days full of regret…..and you would deathly fear the day you die for where you are surely headed.

Roger Mahoney, you know NOTHING about what Christ went through-  I can assure you.  I HAVE lived his life, whereas, you have not.  My connection to HIM and HIS pain will be complete on the day that I die.  Will I rise up….but then again…..maybe I have ALREADY…….?

le rose perfecte.......6/10

le rose perfecte…….6/10

le pearle perfecte.....the GemInI

le pearle perfecte…..the GemInI

‘The Annointed’i M   ->  aRose…..there IS a GemInI…….THE twin…..a Pearl (of Great Price).  I celebrate my Father’s first born son’s birth on Christmas Day.  I am the SECOND CHILD of my Father.  My mother’s mother is LAMB by surname.  My Father’s mother’s surname  is CHRIST.  I have suffered and bear the name of Christ both by first name, and by ancestral last.

These are the true, but cryptic clues as to who I truly am by name, and spiritually.  I am my brother’s opposite.  I am a sinner, whereas, HE was perfect.  Perfect balance in the universe.  For every action, there is an equal reaction.  My sins have been redeemed through gift of compassion…….something MAHONEY KNOW’S NOTHING ABOUT.

To those who follow my blog, I am NO LONGER a practicing Catholic.  In fact, I find all churches repugnant temples for charlatan preachers who deceive good and hopeful people into believing that they need someone or something to be a messenger in communicating personally with GOD- or whatever name you prefer to call our Creator.  I tell you, brothers and sisters, that GOD is INSIDE OF YOUR HEART AND SOUL.  GOD is THE creative spark of conception of ALL living things.  He resides NOWHERE else.  NOBODY stands between YOU and Him.

A heart full of LOVE is GOD.  If you are able to experience LOVE the way that I do, there would be nothing but peace and harmony in the heart of every soul on the planet.  A LOVING heart finds it impossible to hurt another, and wants nothing more than harmony amongst all species.  A LOVING heart is NOT selfish, greedy, or insensitive to the pain of others.  A LOVING heart sees the suffering of others and tries to make a difference because it is the right thing to do.

I have a different perspective on spirituality based on an epiphany that I experienced several years ago.  During this experience, I was allowed to view my life from before my birth….at my conception….as I was held by my grandparents for the very first time.  This epiphany came shortly after my grandfather’s passing.

For the first time ever, I knew how it felt to be unconditionally loved by another human being for the very first time.  I knew, for the first time, that no matter what I did, what I said, what I felt, I was STILL loved and granted PATIENCE, UNDERSTANDING and KINDNESS.

I saw my sins, my mistakes, my pain- and what my purpose was.  In my vision, there was no killing, no hurting, no greed, no selfishness, no reverence for material goods that are only as valuable as the multiple, SOUL-LESS components that it takes to assemble them.

The only things of value are animate beings that bring beauty, laughter and joy to the world.  A butterfly.  A hummingbird.  A puppy.  A blissfully sleeping newborn infant.  The taste of something sublime to the tongue.  A note from a lovely melody.  A red, pink, purple and lavender sunset.  The feel of warm, sugar-soft sand beneath the toes.  The scent of a single perfect rose.  The soft, glowing, luster of a pearl.  The electrifying majesty of lightning splitting the night sky. The quiet, noble, peaceful energy of an ancient redwood.  The earthy, clean, fresh fragrance of a pine cone.  The sound of the ocean in a sea shell.  The smooth, wet skin of a dolphin……and MILLIONS more randoms acts of beauty in the world; every second, of every day.  These are the ONLY true treasures and gems- and they are ABUNDANT.

The purpose for us is to love and create.  To be kind and helpful.  To help animals and others less fortunate than we.  I am NOT religious…..but I am SPIRITUAL and I have a TWIN.  His name IS the same as mine…..minus the “I”


3 thoughts on “About (DIVINE) Humiliation & (Deserved) Shame

  1. zappedin2008 says:

    God is Good, Religion is Bad. How sad … all the people in our lives as children who were suppose to define the world to us and make us feel safe and secure. Nice to meet you.

  2. seagreen415 says:

    I read this article several weeks ago, and when I read this passage, I was brought back in time to my father’s cousin’s wedding rehearsal. My cousin passed several years ago on Mother’s Day from cancer.

    Me and my sister were flower girls, and my brother was ring bearer. My grandmother even handmade our little green flower girl dresses with daisies on them.

    After rehearsal for the wedding, I remember running up to the priest and jumping into his arms. He hugged me tight, with my skinny little legs wrapped around his waist. I remember vividly giving him a kiss on the mouth.

    Later, that evening, my mother and father had stern words with me. They wanted to discuss how inappropriate it had been for me to kiss a grown man, let alone a priest on the mouth in the way that I had. I will never forget how shamed and awful I had felt in hearing their words. I believe this shame contributed to my shoving what was happening to the back of my mind until certain events triggered me a some years ago.

    It is strange the things we remember and how certain events shape our lives over the years………


    @They were thrilled when O’Grady invited their daughter, 11-year-old Nancy Sloan, to visit him in Lodi for what amounted to a four-day weekend. “My parents considered it an honor that a priest would take such personal interest in me,” recalls Sloan, now a registered nurse. During her visit with O’Grady, she says, he groped between her legs while they were in a swimming pool, forcibly kissed her on the lips in a church after performing a wedding ceremony……………….”

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